Sunday, October 9, 2011

Quit while you are ahead?

Starting a new job, meeting new people and trying to make a good impression is always stressful. As a smoker, I have found that I have met many people by sharing a cheaky ciggie round the back or even sharing a lighter. This smokers camaraderie has always been, for me, one of smoking's greatest appeals. Until now.

Week three at work...I am starting to get the hang of things and getting a feel for the place. I am still new but people are getting used to me being around- might have even helped them. So, on this particular day, I go down to have a ciggie with my colleague. It's a sunny day, things are going well and I feel pretty good. We stand in the sun, watching people walk past us- yeah, I feel cool. I am about to light up when something literally explodes all over my head. I look at my arms and am shocked by the green muck all over them. My colleague is staring at me, a sort of half smile/half gag distorting her face.

I turn towards her, being careful as I do as I can feel goo sliding down my head- "Oh my it bad?" I only ask to confirm I have indeed been shat on by the sickest pigeon on Earth. "It's pretty bad...." Man, I am thinking of the embarrassing trip back up to the office: taking the always full elevator, walking through the open space to the bathrooms. So, I ask "Do you think I have time for a ciggie?" Her look told me NO and also showed a certain level of disgust towards my question. I have to quit smoking.

So, I did not smoke that cigarette, I took that full elevator and walked through that open space- all my new colleagues witnessed my walk of shame covered in bird shit. I went to the toilet and washed my hair in the tiny sink using up all the handsoap. Needless to say, I did not feel cool anymore. But, I had a good laugh anyways (as did all those who saw me that day.) No point taking things too seriously....Although, it would be nice to avoid further public humiliation if I am to finally meet and attract someone!!!!

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